Whatever a person encounters when they are young, he adopts with him into the adult years and sometimes subconsciously recreates or re-enacts individuals dynamics at school, at places of employment, in clubs and organizations, within the family, and, if he seeks recovery, during twelve-step conferences. Whether these encounters are good or bad anyway, they become internalized and recognized and, once the person wants to change any feelings, feelings, behaviors, and reactions according to them, he or she must identify, understand, address, process, and transcend them. It’s unlikely he is able to do this by themself.
Because parents aren’t perfect generally carry out the best they could according to their particular upbringing conditions, no home-of-origin could be a perfect atmosphere where one could be fully ready for existence.
Nevertheless, Anthony Stevens attempts to illustrate the amount of an perfect home could theoretically appear as with it, On Jung (Routledge, 1990, p. 97). “… Maturation proceeds using a sequence of innate archetypal expectations, the atmosphere either succeeds or doesn’t meet,” based on him. “The key of individuals expectations would be the atmosphere provides you with sufficient warmth and nourishment for survival a family group made up of mother, father, and peers enough room for exploration and play security from opponents and predators a residential district to supply language, myth, religion, ritual, codes of behavior, tales, values, initiatives, and, eventually, a mate plus an economic role and/or vocational status.”
Adult children who develop with alcoholic, para-alcoholic, structural, in addition to abusive parents are powerless to combat, avoid, or possibly understand their conditions generally attribute any shaming, critical, blaming, or dangerous behavior toward them as justified actions because of their own inadequacies, inferiorities, or just plan unlovability. Forced, without alternative, to depart within and make a trauma-sparked, time-arrested inner child, they cease to develop, replacing their true selves with false or synthetic ones and unknowingly adopt survival traits by means of rewired brains, simply because they expect similar conditions inside the outdoors world they were uncovered to inside the inside one.
A couple of of those traits, which have been made to survive, endure, tolerate, and adjust to unstable, unsafe, in addition to dangerous conditions when maturity, tools and brain development were missing, include isolating, becoming frightened of parent-representing authority figures, seeking approval, fearing anger and critique, adopting addictions and compulsions, self-identifying as victims, overdeveloping their senses of responsibility, habitually harnessing fear, pitying others as opposed to genuinely loving them, repressing childhood feelings to start numbed annihilation, fearing abandonment, and being consistently reactive.